Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
