better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
