The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize