all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Sober January is a disaster.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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