My sheets look like a crime scene.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list