just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i think im in europe. pls send help
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!