Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
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On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to