dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".