I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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