i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
