I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
