you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
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He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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