Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
