It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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