Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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