I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
