then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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