I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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