Who did Billy Mays play for?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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