So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
