1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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