I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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