and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
