So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
