She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
