I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
