Little spoons don't ask big questions
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
