is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
