Have you finally orgasmed yet?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
