Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
