I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
