there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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