Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
