I want to make a zoo with you.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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