the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
