Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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