This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
