You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
