I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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