its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
