Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
