we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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