Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My feet surprised me
Randomize
