Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
