well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize