I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize