we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
