if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
