so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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