If i come over, it means nothing
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
