In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
