your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
