there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
