theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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