So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
