Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
