Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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