There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
