Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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