he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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