oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
