You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
