Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
