please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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