I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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