New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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