Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
