I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
