mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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