Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
